rapaport dan >> דן רפפורט

Hobbit Lover: Hey man.

Elias: [Puts on Mooby's hat] Welcome to Mooby's, may I take your order?

Hobbit Lover: Yeah um, let's see… Give me one udderly delicious Moo-ilk shake, Skinny Calf and a, order of onion rings. Thanks.

Elias: [Typing into register. To himself:] "One ring to rule them all."

Hobbit Lover: [Surprised] "One ring to find them."

Randal Graves: [Eavesdropping] Oh Jesus.

Elias: "One ring to bring them all."

Hobbit Lover: "And in the darkness bind them!"

Elias: [Hi-5's the Hobbit Lover] Yes! How many times?

Hobbit Lover: Umm, three for 'Fellowship', two for 'Towers', *four* for 'Return'.

Elias: [Showing off] Five for return.

Hobbit Lover: Dude.

Randal Graves: Okay, look. There's only one 'Return', okay, and it ain't of 'The King', it's of 'The Jedi'.

Hobbit Lover: [to Elias] Oh, Star Wars geek.

Randal Graves: Oh I'm the geek? Look at you two whipping out your preciouses.

Elias: [to Hobbit Lover] You'll have to excuse him. He's not 'down' with the trilogy.

Randal Graves: Oh, what the fuck happened to this world? There's only one trilogy you fucking morons.

Hobbit Lover: You know what, maybe we should start calling your friend Padme, because he loves Mannequin Skywalker so much, right?

[Robotic genstures and monotone, imitating Anakin Skywalker]

Hobbit Lover: Danger, danger, my name is Anakin. My shitty acting is ruining saga.

Elias: [Chuckles] Yeah, you're crazy, Jar-Jar.

Randal Graves: Oh I'm crazy? Those fucking hobbit movies were boring as hell. All it was was a bunch of people walking. Three movies of people walking to a fucking volcano… Here's the first movie…

[Walks in a straight line, doped]

Randal Graves: … And here's the second movie…

[Walks in a straight line and steps]

Randal Graves: …

Hobbit Lover: He is way off. Loser.

Randal Graves: …You ready for the third movie?

[Walks in a straight line again, and, at the end, pretends to take a ring off his finger and throw it away, then shrugs]

Diner #1: Fuckin' A.

Bill: As you know, l'm quite keen on comic books. Especially the ones about superheroes. I find the whole mythology surrounding superheroes fascinating. Take my favorite superhero, Superman. Not a great comic book. Not particularly well-drawn. But the mythology… The mythology is not only great, it's unique.

The Bride: [who still has a needle in her leg] How long does this shit take to go into effect?

Bill: About two minutes, just long enough for me to finish my point. Now, a staple of the superhero mythology is, there's the superhero and there's the alter ego. Batman is actually Bruce Wayne, Spider-Man is actually Peter Parker. When that character wakes up in the morning, he's Peter Parker. He has to put on a costume to become Spider-Man. And it is in that characteristic Superman stands alone. Superman didn't become Superman. Superman was born Superman. When Superman wakes up in the morning, he's Superman. His alter ego is Clark Kent. His outfit with the big red "S", that's the blanket he was wrapped in as a baby when the Kents found him. Those are his clothes. What Kent wears – the glasses, the business suit – that's the costume. That's the costume Superman wears to blend in with us. Clark Kent is how Superman views us. And what are the characteristics of Clark Kent. He's weak… he's unsure of himself… he's a coward. Clark Kent is Superman's critique on the whole human race. Sorta like Beatrix Kiddo and Mrs. Tommy Plimpton.

The Bride: Aso. The point emerges.

Bill: You would've worn the costume of Arlene Plimpton. But you were born Beatrix Kiddo. And every morning when you woke up, you'd still be Beatrix Kiddo. Oh, you can take the needle out.

The Bride: [does so] Are you calling me a superhero?

Bill: I'm calling you a killer. A natural born killer. You always have been, and you always will be. Moving to El Paso, working in a used record store, goin' to the movies with Tommy, clipping coupons. That's you, trying to disguise yourself as a worker bee That's you tryin' to blend in with the hive. But you're not a worker bee. You're a renegade killer bee. And no matter how much beer you drank or barbecue you ate or how fat your ass got, nothing in the world would ever change that.

Omar: I'll do what I can to help y'all. But, the game's out there, and it's play or get played. That simple.

Det. Ellis Carver: See, that's why we can't win.
Det. Thomas Hauk: Why not?
Det. Ellis Carver: They fuck up, they get beat. We fuck up, they give us pensions.

Det. William Moreland: You seem awfully happy today.
Detective: I got laid last night.
Det. William Moreland: Oh yeah? Your asshole still hurt?

Troy Wiggins: Shakima's just pissed, 'cause I had her when she was still good.
Shakima Greggs: Yeah, well, you the ugly-ass motherfucker that turned me around.

Proposition Joe: I heard your end would be covering my fee.
Stringer Bell: Your fee?
Proposition Joe: Yeah, I'm like a marriage counselor. Tell the man he oughta bring the bitch some flowers every once in a while. Tell the bitch she gotta suck some cock every once in a while. That sort of shit.
[Omar arrives]
Proposition Joe: Speaking of cocksuckers…
[to Omar]
Proposition Joe: I'm Proposition Joe. You fuck with me, I'll kill your whole family.

Freamon: Ain't none of you ever been in the military? Don't you know how you learn a thirty-inch quick time?
[Nobody speaks]
Freamon: Draft dodging peace freaks, huh?

Moreland: I'm just a humble motherfucker with a big-ass dick.
Freamon: You give yourself too much credit.
Moreland: Okay then. I ain't that humble.

DA Pearlman: What's the worst thing on a woman? A drunken Irishman.

Dennis 'Cutty' Wise: The game done changed…
Slim Charles: Game's the same, just got more fierce.

Avon Barksdale: I ain't no suit-wearin' businessman like you… you know I'm just a gangsta I suppose…

Det. William Moreland: Them Greeks sure have some weird-ass names.
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: Hey, don't knock the Greeks. They invented civilization.
Det. William Moreland: Yeah, and ass-fucking, too.

Brother Mouzone: I see you favor a .45.
Omar: At night I do. And I keeps one in the chamber in case you ponderin'.

Omar: All in the game yo, all in the game.

Omar: Ayo, lesson here, Bey. You come at the king, you best not miss.

Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: All those mopes in bracelets and not one of them named Osama.

Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: I got to ask you. If every time Snotboogie would grab the money and run away, why'd you even let him in the game?
Witness: What?
Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: If Snotboogie always stole the money, why'd you let him play?
Witness: You got to, this America, man.

Bubbles: Thin line between heaven and here.

Sgt. Jay Landsman: For you I would suggest some pantsuits, perhaps muted in color, something to offset Detective Moreland's pinstripe lawyerly affectations and the brash tweedy impertinence of Detective Freamon. Rawls is watching on this one, let's at least pretend like we got a fucking clue.
Freamon: Tweedy impertinence? I like that.

Avon Barksdale: Fucked up, man. Ay… y'all ask me y'all ugly ass niggas shouldn't be in here fuckin' around with all these guns and shit…

Brother Mouzone: You're the perfect bait. They will view you as conflicted, your homophobia is so visceral.
Lamar: See that. I haven't even walked in the place yet and you're already calling me a cocksucker.

Dep. Comm.: What's this Sobotka to you?
Maj. Stanislaus 'Stan' Valchek: He's an asshole.

Freamon: A life, Jimmy, you know what that is? It's the shit that happens while you're waiting for moments that never come.

Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: [during interrogation] All right, we'll call you Boris…
Sergei 'Serge' Malatov: [sighs] Boris… why always Boris?

Det. William Moreland: [repeated line to McNulty] Happy now, bitch?

[repeated line]
State Sen. R. Clayton 'Clay' Davis: SHIIIIIT

Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: [Repeated line] What the fuck did I do?

Lt. Dennis Mello: [repeated Line at End of Role Call] Don't Get Captured!